(A very clean parody inspired by Song of Solomon)
I’ve never been subtle about my admiration for my wife, and I don’t plan to start now. I’ve watched Amy care for people quietly, consistently, and without drawing attention to herself. I’ve also heard many others say what I’ve thought for a long time—she deserves Okeene Citizen of the Year.
She’s cared for people at their best, their worst, and—on occasion—when they probably wished she wasn’t there at all. She does this work with skill, compassion, and humility, all while loving our boys well and being married to me, which many have assured me is no small act of service.
So this isn’t a serious theological exercise, and it’s definitely not Scripture. But it is a lighthearted, very clean, slightly tongue-in-cheek love letter written in the style of Song of Solomon—because if Solomon could write poetry about his beloved, I can at least attempt a parody for Sugar Booger.
The Song of Sugar Booger
(The Book of Mike, Chapter 1)
1. Behold, how wonderful you are, my beloved,
how steady and wise beyond measure.
You are known in the town for your care and patience,
while I am mostly known
for colorful shoes and sarcasm.
2. Your short hair is confidence itself—
ready for the day,
unbothered by the wind,
and far more practical
than anything Solomon ever described.
3. Your hands bring calm to anxious hearts
and reassurance to worried minds.
You speak comfort with wisdom
and compassion with clarity,
and still return home
with grace left to spare.
4. Your voice is gentle yet firm.
You have said,
“Mike, no,”
and I have learned
this is both loving and correct.
5. Your patience is well known.
Many have called you a saint,
a hero,
and the most patient person they know—
largely because you are married to me.
I find no fault in their assessment.
6. You keep our household running smoothly.
You remember appointments.
I ask what we’re already late for.
You maintain the budget.
I ask, “How bad would it be if I bought this?”
You bring order.
I keep things… interesting.
7. Your laughter fills our home with joy.
It lightens long days
and steadies heavy moments.
It reminds me that love is not loud,
but faithful.
8. Many waters cannot quench your grace,
nor can floods drown your kindness—
not even the weekly rising of the laundry,
which multiplies without explanation.
9. I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine—
for many years and counting.
Together we walk forward,
raising boys,
serving others,
and trusting the Lord
who knew exactly what He was doing
when He placed us together.
I will continue to say it plainly: Sugar Booger, you are a gift—to our family, to this town, and to me.
I KNOW MIKE WILLIAMS 